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Do Overs

 

Subject: Kids Games

A critical component of resilience is being willing to call a "Do Over." Kids (like us) often feel embarrassed or ashamed of mistakes they make. So, instead of trying again, they give up or move onto something else – just so they can avoid having to deal with their feelings. While this strategy might spare some uncomfortable feelings in the short-term, it comes with many costs – resilience among them. Our children need to see us modeling the "Do Over" so that they understand that acknowledging mistakes is a strength and that only by acknowledging them can we move forward and try again. Next time you make a mistake, describe it ("Ooh, I put way too much salt in that soup!" or "The way I said that sounded too bossy") and then call a "Do Over." Try saying something like: "I call a Do Over. I'm going to say that in a kinder way," and then try again. For younger kids, you can make it more playful by creating a "Do Over" ball. Get a foam ball and write DO OVER on it. When you notice your child shying away from correcting a mistake and trying again, you can throw the ball to her as a playful reminder to call a Do Over. Families that use the "Do Over" ball find it helpful to make a few and to have them in high-frequency rooms like the kitchen and the playroom.

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