Dwyane Wade

An excerpt from Dwyane Wade’s new memoir, A Father First: How My Life Became Bigger than Basketball  Published by William Morrow

October 27, 2011

Thursday evening, at home in Miami

Zion and I are barely through the door after our afternoon’s adventures when Zaire and Dada appear as if out of nowhere with greetings and salutations.

There’s so much to do and discuss. Both have excellent schoolwork to show off.

Dada has made progress and we all congratulate him. What’s the secret?

Just working hard and not giving up, he tells the other two.

The key to Zaire’s recent good grades seems to be his ability to focus better at test time and, when he isn’t sure what the teacher has explained, his willingness to ask questions.

Underneath my serious expression, I’m trying to keep my face from showing a big happy grin. So many of the conversations that we’ve had at length are now coming back from out of the boys’ mouths—like they’ve discovered them on their own. And that, as a father, is as good as winning a jackpot.

Because, in the end, the old saying that you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink is true. Nor should you want to make him drink.

That leads me to one of the biggest fatherhood or parenthood discoveries that I’ve made—you don’t empower your children by taking credit for their successes. Even when you deserve some credit. Let them own their victories.

How do you do that? Praise helps. Always. Although, it’s not always so simple when you’re also trying to set boundaries and offer guidance and motivate kids to reach high. But in the end I think the best way to help your children seek out opportunities and make the best of them is by modeling the behavior.

If you as a parent live your life and pursue your goals, always remembering to put it on the line, even if you haven’t had the greatest first half, that rubs off. If you put your heart into whatever you do, playing with the will to win of a rookie who wants to do well, kids will cut you some slack for caring.

Get the full story on this all-star father at www.dwyanewade.com